I went into science to remain a child. Where else can exploration for its own sake be considered a value? I did an MS in molecular biology and research in mathematics. I wanted to establish a foundation for understanding how things work. In a sense I wanted to learn how to learn. But I also worked on cool questions like:
- How do epigenetic modifications influence evolution?
- why do anesthetics affect virtually all life forms like a magic light switch on consciousness?
- how do hormones affect behavior, and form?
- how does the cell repair broken DNA? And what about accelerating beneficial mutations? For example, could DNA breaks be done in a directed, vs. random, fashion?
- and so much more!
I worked a couple of years as a staff research molecular biologist at UCSF and did really enjoy most of it. I loved jamming with brilliant professors at the whiteboard, mixing outlandish "what if" ideas with first principles thinking. That's what makes it science - it just might work!!
So why did I leave? The whole point was to connect with something larger – to dream and to prove. When it started feeling less like an enabling tool for probing the universe, and more like a box confining me a highly constrained mode/path of inquiry I knew it was time for me to leave. The scientific spirit is very much the innate spirit of humanity – learning, experimenting, failing – toward the pursuit of better ways of thinking and doing. My 13 month old does it all day long. We’re learning machines. The difference is not one of being born as a scientist or not, but rather retaining that childish twinkle in the eye for having discovered (yes, discovered!) something new. This discovery could be how to put one foot in front of the other. That’s the secret – to revel in discovery for ones self, no matter how many others have also discovered it -like epiphany.
So to the childish zeal we add some methods and tools for doing this and voila! – a scientist. But if I had to choose between the tools of science and the spirit of inquiry, I’ll take the spirit any day. And thankfully that’s the part that I’ve retained. The tools are great but without the spirit they are meaningless.